Much Ado About Nothing Act 4

Act 4, Scene 1 A church

[Enter DON PEDRO, DON JOHN, LEONATO, FRIAR FRANCIS, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, HERO, BEATRICE, and Attendants]

LEONATO: Come, Friar Francis, be brief; only to the plain form of marriage, and you shall recount their particular duties afterwards.

FRIAR FRANCIS: You come hither, my lord, to marry this lady.

CLAUDIO: No.     

LEONATO: To be married to her: friar, you come to marry her.

FRIAR FRANCIS: Lady, you come hither to be married to this count.

HERO: I do.

FRIAR FRANCIS: If either of you know any inward impediment why you should not be conjoined, charge you, on your souls, to utter it.

CLAUDIO: Know you any, Hero?

HERO: None, my lord.

FRIAR FRANCIS: Know you any, count?

LEONATO: I dare make his answer, none.     

CLAUDIO: O, what men dare do! what men may do! what men daily do, not knowing what they do!

BENEDICK: How now! interjections? Why, then, some be of laughing, as, ah, ha, he!

CLAUDIO: Stand thee by, friar. Father, by your leave: Will you with free and unconstrained soul Give me this maid, your daughter?

LEONATO: As freely, son, as God did give her me.

CLAUDIO: And what have I to give you back, whose worth May counterpoise this rich and precious gift?     

DON PEDRO: Nothing, unless you render her again.

CLAUDIO: Sweet prince, you learn me noble thankfulness. There, Leonato, take her back again: She's but the sign and semblance of her honour. Behold how like a maid she blushes here! O, what authority and show of truth Can cunning sin cover itself withal! Comes not that blood as modest evidence To witness simple virtue? Would you not swear, All you that see her, that she were a maid, By these exterior shows?

LEONATO: What do you mean, my lord?     

CLAUDIO: Not to be married, Not to knit my soul to an approved wanton.

LEONATO: Dear my lord, if you, in your own proof, Have vanquish'd the resistance of her youth, And made defeat of her virginity,--    

CLAUDIO: I know what you would say: if I have known her, You will say she did embrace me as a husband, And so extenuate the 'forehand sin: No, Leonato, I never tempted her with word too large; But, as a brother to his sister, show'd Bashful sincerity and comely love.

HERO: And seem'd I ever otherwise to you?

CLAUDIO: Out on thee! Seeming! You seem to me as Dian in her orb, As chaste as is the bud ere it be blown; But you are more intemperate in your blood Than Venus, or those pamper'd animals That rage in savage sensuality.

HERO: Is my lord well, that he doth speak so wide?  

LEONATO: Sweet prince, why speak not you?

DON PEDRO: What should I speak? I stand dishonour'd, that have gone about To link my dear friend to a common stale.

LEONATO: Are these things spoken, or do I but dream?     

DON JOHN: Sir, they are spoken, and these things are true.

BENEDICK: This looks not like a nuptial.

HERO: True! O God!

CLAUDIO: Leonato, stand I here? Is this the prince? is this the prince's brother? Is this face Hero's? are our eyes our own?

LEONATO: All this is so: but what of this, my lord?

CLAUDIO: Let me but move one question to your daughter; And, by that fatherly and kindly power That you have in her, bid her answer truly.     

LEONATO: I charge thee do so, as thou art my child.

HERO: O, God defend me! how am I beset! What kind of catechising call you this?

CLAUDIO: To make you answer truly to your name.

HERO: Is it not Hero? Who can blot that name With any just reproach?

CLAUDIO: Marry, that can Hero; Hero itself can blot out Hero's virtue. What man was he talk'd with you yesternight Out at your window betwixt twelve and one?

HERO: I talk'd with no man at that hour, my lord.

DON PEDRO: Why, then are you no maiden. Leonato, I am sorry you must hear: upon mine honour, Myself, my brother and this grieved count Did see her, hear her, at that hour last night Talk with a ruffian at her chamber-window Who hath indeed, most like a liberal villain, Confess'd the vile encounters they have hadA thousand times in secret.    

DON JOHN: Fie, fie! they are not to be named, my lord,Not to be spoke of; There is not chastity enough in language Without offence to utter them. Thus, pretty lady, I am sorry for thy much misgovernment.     

CLAUDIO: O Hero, what a Hero hadst thou been, If half thy outward graces had been placed About thy thoughts and counsels of thy heart! But fare thee well, most foul, most fair! farewell, Thou pure impiety and impious purity!For thee I'll lock up all the gates of love, And on my eyelids shall conjecture hang, To turn all beauty into thoughts of harm, And never shall it more be gracious.

LEONATO: Hath no man's dagger here a point for me?     

[HERO swoons]

BEATRICE: Why, how now, cousin! wherefore sink you down?

DON JOHN: Come, let us go. These things, come thus to light, Smother her spirits up.

[Exeunt DON PEDRO, DON JOHN, and CLAUDIO]

BENEDICK: How doth the lady?

BEATRICE: Dead, I think. Help, uncle! Hero! why, Hero! Uncle! Signior Benedick! Friar!     

LEONATO: O Fate! take not away thy heavy hand. Death is the fairest cover for her shame That may be wish'd for.

BEATRICE: How now, cousin Hero!

FRIAR FRANCIS: Have comfort, lady.

LEONATO: Dost thou look up?

FRIAR FRANCIS: Yea, wherefore should she not?

LEONATO: Wherefore! Why, doth not every earthly thing Cry shame upon her? Could she here deny The story that is printed in her blood? Do not live, Hero; do not ope thine eyes: For, did I think thou wouldst not quickly die. Grieved I, I had but one?

BENEDICK: Sir, sir, be patient. For my part, I am so attired in wonder, I know not what to say.

BEATRICE: O, on my soul, my cousin is belied!     

BENEDICK: Lady, were you her bedfellow last night?

BEATRICE: No, truly not; although, until last night, I have this twelvemonth been her bedfellow.

LEONATO: Confirm'd, confirm'd! O, that is stronger made Which was before barr'd up with ribs of iron! Would the two princes lie, and Claudio lie, Who loved her so, that, speaking of her foulness, Wash'd it with tears? Hence from her! let her die.

FRIAR FRANCIS: Hear me a little; in her eye there hath appear'd a fire, To burn the errors that these princes hold Against her maiden truth. Call me a fool; Trust not my reading nor my observations, My reverence, calling, nor divinity, If this sweet lady lie not guiltless here Under some biting error.

LEONATO: Friar, it cannot be, she not denies it: Why seek'st thou then to cover with excuse That which appears in proper nakedness?

FRIAR FRANCIS: Lady, what man is he you are accused of?     

HERO: I know none If I know more of any man alive Than that which maiden modesty doth warrant, Let all my sins lack mercy! O my father, Prove you that any man with me conversed At hours unmeet, or that I yesternight Maintain'd the change of words with any creature, Refuse me, hate me, torture me to death!

FRIAR FRANCIS: There is some strange misprision in the princes.

BENEDICK: Two of them have the very bent of honour; And if their wisdoms be misled in this, The practise of it lives in John the bastard, Whose spirits toil in frame of villanies.

LEONATO: I know not. If they speak but truth of her, These hands shall tear her; if they wrong her honour, The proudest of them shall well hear of it. Time hath not yet so dried this blood of mine, Nor age so eat up my invention, Ability in means and choice of friends, To quit me of them throughly.

FRIAR FRANCIS: Pause awhile, And let my counsel sway you in this case. Your daughter here the princes left for dead: Let her awhile be secretly kept in, And publish it that she is dead indeed; Maintain a mourning ostentation And on your family's old monument Hang mournful epitaphs and do all rites That appertain unto a burial.

LEONATO: What shall become of this? what will this do?

FRIAR FRANCIS: Marry, this well carried shall on her behalf Change slander to remorse. She dying, as it must so be maintain'd, Upon the instant that she was accused, Shall be lamented, pitied and excused Of every hearer. So will it fare with Claudio: When he shall hear she died upon his words, More moving-delicate and full of life, Into the eye and prospect of his soul, Than when she lived indeed; then shall he mourn, If ever love had interest in his liver, And wish he had not so accused her, No, though he thought his accusation true.

BENEDICK: Signior Leonato, let the friar advise you: And though you know my inwardness and love Is very much unto the prince and Claudio, Yet, by mine honour, I will deal in this As secretly and justly as your soul Should with your body.

LEONATO: Being that I flow in grief, The smallest twine may lead me.

FRIAR FRANCIS: 'Tis well consented: presently away; For to strange sores strangely they strain the cure. Come, lady, die to live: this wedding-day Perhaps is but prolong'd: have patience and endure.     

[Exeunt all but BENEDICK and BEATRICE]

BENEDICK: Is there any way to show such friendship?

BEATRICE: A very even way, but no such friend.

BENEDICK: May a man do it?

BEATRICE: It is a man's office, but not yours.

BENEDICK: I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?

BEATRICE: As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.

BENEDICK: By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me.

BEATRICE: Do not swear, and eat it.

BENEDICK: I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you.     

BEATRICE: Will you not eat your word?

BENEDICK: With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee.

BEATRICE: Why, then, God forgive me!

BENEDICK: What offence, sweet Beatrice?     

BEATRICE: I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.     

BENEDICK: Come, bid me do any thing for thee.

BEATRICE: Kill Claudio.

BENEDICK: Ha! not for the wide world.

BEATRICE: You kill me to deny it. Farewell.

BENEDICK: Tarry, sweet Beatrice.

BEATRICE: I am gone, though I am here: there is no love in you: nay, I pray you, let me go.

BENEDICK: Beatrice,--

BEATRICE: In faith, I will go.

BENEDICK: We'll be friends first.     

BEATRICE: You dare easier be friends with me than fight with mine enemy.

BENEDICK: Is Claudio thine enemy?

BEATRICE: Is he not approved in the height a villain, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O that I were a man! O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place.

BENEDICK: Hear me, Beatrice,--     

BEATRICE: Talk with a man out at a window! A proper saying!

BENEDICK: Nay, but, Beatrice,--

BEATRICE: Sweet Hero! She is wronged, she is slandered, she is undone.

BENEDICK: Beat--

BEATRICE: Princes and counties! Surely, a princely testimony, a goodly count, Count Comfect; a sweet gallant, surely! O that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into courtesies, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too. I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving.

BENEDICK: Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee.

BEATRICE: Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it.     

BENEDICK: Think you in your soul the Count Claudio hath wronged Hero?

BEATRICE: Yea, as sure as I have a thought or a soul.

BENEDICK: Enough, I am engaged; I will challenge him. I will kiss your hand, and so I leave you. By this hand, Claudio shall render me a dear account. As you hear of me, so think of me. Go, comfort your cousin: I must say she is dead: and so, farewell.

[Exeunt]

Act 4, Scene 2 A prison

[Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and Sexton, in gowns; and the Watch, with CONRADE and BORACHIO]

DOGBERRY: Is our whole dissembly appeared?

First watchman: O, a stool and a cushion for the sexton.

Sexton: Which be the malefactors?

DOGBERRY: Marry, that am I and my partner.

Sexton: But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before master constable.

DOGBERRY: Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is yourname, friend?

BORACHIO: Borachio.     

DOGBERRY: Pray, write down, Borachio. Yours, sirrah?

CONRADE: I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.

DOGBERRY: Write down, master gentleman Conrade. Masters, do you serve God?

CONRADE: | | Yea, sir, we hope. BORACHIO: |

DOGBERRY: Write down, that they hope they serve God: and write God first; for God defend but God should go before such villains! Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves; and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves?

CONRADE: Marry, sir, we say we are none.

DOGBERRY: A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you: but I will go about with him. Come you hither, sirrah; a word in your ear: sir, I say to you, it is thought you are false knaves.

BORACHIO: Sir, I say to you we are none.

DOGBERRY: Well, stand aside. 'Fore God, they are both in a tale. Have you writ down, that they are none?

Sexton: Master constable, you go not the way to examine: you must call forth the watch that are their accusers.

DOGBERRY: Yea, marry, that's the eftest way. Let the watch come forth. Masters, I charge you, in the prince's name, accuse these men.

First Watchman: This man said, sir, that Don John, the prince's brother, was a villain.

DOGBERRY: Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince's brother villain.   

BORACHIO: Master constable,--

DOGBERRY: Pray thee, fellow, peace: I do not like thy look, I promise thee.

Sexton: What heard you him say else?

Second Watchman: Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.

DOGBERRY: Flat burglary as ever was committed.

Sexton: What else, fellow?

First Watchman: And that Count Claudio did mean, upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly. and not marry her.

DOGBERRY: O villain! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this.

Sexton: What else?

Watchman: This is all.    

Sexton: And this is more, masters, than you can deny. Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away; Hero was in this manner accused, in this very manner refused, and upon the grief of this suddenly died. Master constable, let these men be bound, and brought to Leonato's: I will go before and show him their examination. [Exit]

DOGBERRY: Come, let them be opinioned.  Let them be in the hands--

CONRADE: Off, coxcomb!    

DOGBERRY: God's my life, where's the sexton? let him write down the prince's officer coxcomb. Come, bind them. Thou naughty varlet!

CONRADE: Away! you are an ass, you are an ass.

DOGBERRY: Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness.   Bring him away. O that I had been writ down an ass!

[Exeunt]

***To Be Continue Act 5

SC: The Bright Woman/yayha/ari